A Cat Trainer’s Honest Take on the Age-Old Question
It’s a question I hear constantly in my work:“So… which makes a better pet—a male cat or a female?”
After years of training cats and getting to know countless feline personalities, you’d think I’d have a quick, confident answer. But here’s the truth: even though most of my early cats were male, I never really paid much attention to the gender —until recently.
What I’ve Observed Over the Years
Both male and female cats bring something uniquely wonderful into our lives. Personality plays a far bigger role than gender ever will, but after years of hands-on experience, I’ve noticed a few subtle trends—especially once a cat is spayed or neutered.
Male cats often become incredibly affectionate, people-oriented, and sometimes just a little bit needy (in the sweetest, most heart-melting way).
Female cats usually hold onto a bit more independence. They’re loving and loyal, too—but often on their own carefully selected terms.
Every cat is an individual and personality always breaks the “rules” when you least expect it.
What the Research Says
Interestingly, research mirrors many of the patterns I’ve seen firsthand:
Males tend to be more social, playful, and openly affectionate.
Females often display more independence, self-sufficiency, and reservation.
It made me ask myself: Are these differences instinctive?
In the wild, male cats roam vast areas and may naturally be more adaptable to new places and new people.It’s possible those instincts still influence their behavior today?
But here’s the real deciding factor: Friendliness isn’t determined by gender. It’s shaped by early socialization.
A well-socialized female can be the biggest cuddle magnet in the house, and a male can be as aloof as a feline philosopher pondering life from a distance.
My Personal (and Slightly Biased) Experience
When I looked back at the cats I’ve trained throughout my career, I realized something surprising: nearly 90% of them have been male. Even my beloved cat who sparked my passion for training was male.
Does that mean female cats are harder to work with? Absolutely not. That’s simply how the numbers played out. In fact, many of the female cats I’ve trained actually pick up new behaviors faster than the males.
Still, it made me wonder whether I naturally gravitate toward certain traits—traits that male cats often (but certainly not always) display.
The Bottom Line
At Totally Feline, we’re fortunate to have an even mix of male and female cats on our team, and I adore each of them for who they are. Every cat has a personality so distinct, so irreplaceable, that choosing a “favorite gender” feels almost impossible.
But if someone forced me to choose purely from a professional standpoint?I’d probably lean ever-so-slightly toward males—not because females are any less wonderful, but because many of the male cats I’ve worked with embody the qualities I personally value most: openness, sociability, and that irresistible outgoing affection.
On a personal level, though? When it comes to the Totally Feline clowder, I couldn’t choose if I tried. Each one brings a beautiful blend of sensitivity, independence, playfulness, friendliness, and love that makes our little family whole.
Now It’s Your Turn
Do you have a preference between male and female cats—or do you love them equally?Share your thoughts in the comments below. I’d truly love to hear your experience! 😺💬